Being a Grown Up

I posted this picture to my facebook last night. My cousin commented about how I seemed so grown up. It was funny to me. Partially because the picture demonstrates my complete silliness at making faces to mimic my baby and partially because I don't often feel grown up. Most days, I still feel like a 15 year old. I wish there was someone telling me what to do. On a fairly regular basis I can be heard asking my husband what I should be when I grow up. That's so not a question grown ups ask.

Despite the fact that I feel so uncertain in so many parts of my life, I do feel a certain sense of comfort when it comes to parenting Eleanor. Sure, those first few weeks I felt a little like I was drowning, but not anymore. I'm confident in the decisions I make regarding her. Even when I am frustrated, I rarely second guess myself or even worry about what others are thinking. It's a nice feeling. I guess she has made me grow up in some ways that I had not really noticed.

If this is being a grown up, I guess it's not as bad as I thought it would be. It would be even better if someone could pay all my bills for me though. Ha.