So, I have a little confession. I am 23 years old and don't have my driver's license. Get out all the shock and awe now. I know, it's weird. It's been an easy thing to just put off because for the longest time I didn't have a car or any plans to get one. But then, D and I bought a second car. So, there were no excuses.
I love my car. It's a silvery blue Mazda 6 that feels super spacious on the inside but doesn't feel like you are driving a boat. I like driving it sometimes. That said, I still get a lot of anxiety over driving. I'm not entirely sure where it comes from, but it exists. Plus, I went everywhere with D or another friend drove. It wasn't hugely inconvenient for me not to be driving on my own. Every time D brought up taking my driver's test, I put it off with some excuse. Then I got pregnant. Kids need things or there could be an emergency or who knows what. Getting my license wasn't something I could put off anymore. We are lucky enough to have two cars and I have no excuse to not take full advantage of it.
A few months ago, I got a California Permit. I had a driving test schedule in Simi Valley for the morning of my birthday. I felt mentally and physically prepared and capable. Saturday we decided to go for a practice run, since I don't often drive around the Simi Valley DMV. Getting more comfortable with the surrounding area would only make me more confident, right?
Well, it would have been right, but after driving up the 118 and finding the DMV without even making D get a little nervous, I was making a left turn WITH A SIGNAL, and I hit a median in the center of the road. I emphasize the with a signal part to express just how stupid it was. I just started the turn when the light was green, going maybe a little too fast but not crazy, and then somehow, there was a median and I was going to hit it. I have like temporary amnesia or something on the events that occurred between the green arrow and realizing I was going to hit the median. Once I realized it, my only reaction was to swerve back over as much as I could... D points out that I didn't think to slow down. He's right. I didn't. Because I'm not a super amazing driver after all, especially when I panic.
We hit the median and I bounced in my seat, hit my head on the ceiling of the car, and my glasses fell off my face. I managed to regain enough composure to pull as far to the side of the road as I could. Something was making a scraping noise. The car didn't really want to go. D got out and I tried to calm down. I was crying, but not because I was hurt at all. I was just scared.
D and I switched places and he pulled the car up a little further into this bus drop off nook or something. He picked up the pieces that had fallen into the road. A nice man stopped and asked if we needed help. We told him no but thanked him profusely. The tire was busted, there was something leaking from underneath the front left side, and there was a good bit of cosmetic damage. We don't know what else might have been wrong. D tried to put on the spare tire. I tried to help but he wouldn't let me, saying instead that I needed to stand far away on the sidewalk. He did manage to put the spare on but it was flat within a matter of minutes. We called our insurance and they called a tow and recommended a shop to take it to. I cried a whole lot more while we sat in the car waiting for the tow truck to get there. At that point, it was mostly embarrassment. I felt so stupid.
The tow truck driver was a sweetheart. He took us to a nearby shopping plaza thing were some friends of ours were having a date night. I wish we would have had some cash to give him a little tip or something. I really need to start carrying more cash and stop depending on my debit card so much. I felt bad for interrupting our friends' date night, but they were sweet about it. We even spent a little time hanging out at their house before they gave us a ride home. We owe them, for sure. By the end of the night, I felt a little better.
I'm still apologizing to D for killing our car. He keeps telling me to stop but somehow saying, "I'm sorry I ran over the median" makes me feel a little better. I thanked him for being so sweet when it happened. His response was I hope I wasn't too angry. The response shocked me a little because he was incredibly calm the whole time. He hugged me and let me cry. He kept asking if I was okay and telling me that Ella and I were more important than the car. He didn't realize that last bit actually made it worse, thinking about the fact that I could have hurt my daughter. Thankfully, I didn't. No one was hurt, except the car, and it will be fixed soon.
After all of that, I think it's kind of evident that I did not go take my driver's test on my birthday. I am determined to take it now though, as soon as we get our car back. I am not comfortable driving D's car for the test because it is just not what I am used to and I figure the test will make me nervous enough without adding a completely different car to it. I have driven some though, which is probably good. I'm not going to lie... I will be nervous the next time I am making a left turn by a median, but I can't let that one accident control my life.
