More Milk

I'm in the efforts of trying to get my milk supply up so I can feed Eleanor more at each nursing session. I would really like to stop supplementing her feedings with formula, and to do that, I need to be able to fill her up from nursing alone or pump enough to be able to give her a bottle.

So far, my favorite part of attempting to increase my milk supply is Lactation Cookies. They are delicious. I'll post my recipe in the next few days. It's amazing to have an excuse to eat cookies even when I'm trying to get back in shape after the baby.

My least favorite part is pumping. It's not painful or anything like that, and my pump is a good one. It's just so boring. Not to mention the fact that I barely ever pump more than a few ounces, which is just depressing. 

All of the other things that I've been told to try are not particularly great or awful. They are somewhere in the middle. I am taking More Milk Plus drops (which taste terrible) and Goat's Rue, drinking dark beer and tons of water, eating steel cut oatmeal, and trying not to put any pressure on myself. It's a little hard not to feel the pressure when I am solely responsible for feeding my baby. No one else can breastfeed her but me. 

My family thinks my insistence to breastfeed is weird. Some of them think that because she isn't getting (only) formula or cereal, that she can't possibly be healthy or gain enough weight. I know that's not the case but it's difficult to be brave about my decision when we are struggling with supply issues so much. 

I never realized that feeding my child would be this complicated or this emotional for me. 

Tiny Baby

Between her 2 month and 4 months appointments, Eleanor only gained half an ounce. That's pretty insane. She fell from like the 50% for weight, down to the 10%.

Clearly, this lack of weight gain is not okay. It's frustrating for me because she seems satisfied after nursing sessions and refuses to keep nursing after a certain point. Right now, we are supplementing with bottles of formula or pumped breast milk, and she seems totally fine with taking a bottle even after she starts refusing to nurse more.

It's probably a supply problem on my end, which makes me feel like a massive failure. Has she spent the last two months being hungry? Honestly, there is a part of me right now that wants to just forget it and switch to completely giving her formula. The smarter part of me knows that wouldn't be the best choice for us right now though. I have loved nursing Eleanor, even when I haven't necessarily like (3am feeding, I'm talking about you). And despite her lack of weight gain, she is thriving. My kiddo is so strong and healthy. I've got to give breast milk some props for that.

For now, I'm completely fine with supplementing with formula and trying everything known to man to increase my milk supply. I'm just hoping that these things work and my little lady packs on some pounds. We need more baby chub in this house.

10 Favorite Photos from Month 4

4 Months - An Eleanor Update

Weight: 11 lbs 2.5 oz 

Height: 24.25 in. 

Likes: Eleanor likes playing airplane, any tv time that she gets (very little), and gets more excited over gas drops than anything else. 

Dislikes: Eleanor is fairly easy going. That said, she doesn't like waking up (no matter how much sleep she got) and she currently isn't a fan of any toy that is too big for her to chew on. 

Milestones: This was like the month of milestones. Eleanor is now intentionally playing with all of her toys. She started giggling and found her voice.After learning how to roll from back to front, she became a crazy little mover all of a sudden. My favorite has to be that she has started to mimic us when we blow raspberries or make simple sounds. It's the cutest. 

This past month has been one of the best and worst months we have had so far. Eleanor has been difficult but much more aware. It seems like right when I'm ready to throw my hands up in frustration she starts doing something new and we have a few good days. I get it. I'm sure it's really tough learning how to roll and laugh and make sounds. I'm amazed by how much she can do now. It is so fun watching her grow. 

10 Favorite Photos From Month 3

Moving took a ton of effort and I'm waaaay behind in updating this blog. I just realized that this post has been sitting in my draft folder for over a month! Crazy stuff. Now back to the regularly scheduled cute baby pictures...

3 Months - An Eleanor Update

Weight: 11 lbs 2 oz

Height: 23 in.

Likes: Eleanor loves being sung to, being able to balance and stand on her feet (with assistance obviously), and she still loves bath time. 

Dislikes: Eleanor still does not like being woken up or napping without being held. She also hates being in the carseat when the car isn't moving and the room being too bright at bed time. 

Milestones: She sucks her thumb (and sometimes other fingers), she has discovered her feet, and she recently sat up on her own for a few seconds. 

Eleanor is still crazy strong for a baby. She loves being able to use her muscles to "stand" and loves when we pull her up to a sitting position. Her head and upper body control is out of this world. She always keeps her feet pulled up when laying down, unless swaddled. She drools and bubbles like crazy lately. I heard somewhere that's their way of gearing up for more solid foods? I don't know. Eleanor got her first bottle of formula this month. D and I wanted a date night and because she was (is) going through a growth spurt my milk supply was a little messed up. The formula was a sample we had kept, and it seemed to go over pretty well with her. She doesn't "talk" much and I am still doing everything I can to make her laugh. Hopefully she will soon. 

Rashes and Rolling Off Couches

This week has been on the hard side. Not really the week so much as yesterday and today.

Yesterday, I noticed a little bit of a rash between Eleanor's legs and under her arms. By the time D got home last night it was much worse. The rash appeared as just flat red blotches. It didn't seem to be bothering her at all. It was on every portion of her body, but mostly avoided her face.

We called the after hours line at the pediatrician's office and they just said to monitor her overnight. I called the pediatrician today to reconfirm that advice. They said to watch her and as long as it continues to fade and doesn't start to bother her it should be fine.

On top of all the stress in dealing with this rash with unknown causes, Eleanor rolled off the couch. I left her for just a few minutes, long enough to run upstairs and grab some diapers. She was sleeping on her back.

From up the stairs, I heard her cry out. I raced out of the room, but assumed I would just see a cat bothering her (they have yet to do anything, but I figure sooner or later, you know). I looked down to the couch and I didn't see her. Panic mode set in. She was in the floor on her stomach, screaming at the top of her lungs. I picked her up and after a few minutes of soothing she seemed okay. Thankfully, she had rolled off and onto a throw cushion that was in the floor. Thank goodness for throw cushions.

I still have no idea how she went from her back on the couch to on the floor on her stomach and pointing in the opposite direction that I had left her. After I picked her up and she calmed down, she seemed fine. Still tracking objects like normal and latching to eat.

I feel like the worst mom ever today. My kid has an unidentified rash which I am convinced I somehow caused and I left her alone so she could roll off the couch. Rationally, I know that I am being unreasonable in feeling like everything is all my fault. For some reason though, I can't get myself to believe that today.