Unemployed

I was let go from my job on Monday. The only part of it that was surprising is I was going to start maternity leave in like two weeks. I'm not super happy about the way it was handled. I wasn't told directly, well, ever. They told D and knew that he would tell me. It was a little bit weird.

I was sad for a few days, but probably more angry than anything else. I'm pretty at peace with it now. It was probably for the best. The company was not the right fit for me, and I was, apparently, not the right fit for the company.

I had decided that I would start searching for a new job, one with flexible hours and a better working environment. It was one of the things that was making me excited for the upcoming year. So really, it just bruised my ego a little that I was let go instead of getting the chance to quit. It would have felt nice to get to leave on my terms.

Seriously though, who fires a lady that is 34 weeks pregnant? That just seems like bad karma. It's like firing someone right before Christmas... oh wait, they did that too. I'm glad to be gone.

34 Weeks - Update (A Day Late, Again)

Sorry about the lack of cute in this picture. This is a week made for comfy pants and sports bras. 

Countdown: 41 days 

Baby size: The baby was 5lbs and 14oz. according to the ultrasound we had on Monday! Ultrasounds do have a margin of error, but my goodness, she's a big baby. Roughly as big as a large cantaloupe according to my what to expect app. 

Symptoms: Morning sickness is back. No fun. 

Cravings: I didn't really have any cravings this week. I kind of want all of the foods and none of the foods at the same time. It's weird. 

Best Moment of the Week: It's a tie. On Friday, we spent the day at Disney with friends. It was tiring but really fun. And Monday morning, we got to see our girl and she was perfect (although still breech). Anytime I get to see her and know she is doing okay is a good time. 

Worst Moment of the Week: There were a few moments this week that were total crap. I'll award this particular honor to missing the toilet when throwing up though. There is nothing quite like having to clean it up all while trying not to get sick again. 

What I am Looking Forward to: I'm determined to get Ella's little corner of our room completed in the next two weeks. Mostly because it will make me feel more prepared to bring her home. I'm so excited to see all of this finally starting to come together. It makes it so real. 

33 Weeks - Update

Countdown: 48 days 

Baby size: The baby is almost 5 pounds and could be to 21in long! That's huge... Roughly as big as a pineapple according to my what to expect app. 

Symptoms: I'm getting some pretty intense hot flashes lately. It's disgusting. 

Cravings: One of the things I have craved throughout my entire pregnancy... milk. I've also had a really strong craving for a beer this week, which is a little strange considering that I am not usually a huge beer fan. I'd prefer a mixed drink or wine any day, except now apparently. Also frustrating cause there is not a thing I can do about it. 

Best Moment of the Week: My sweet friend (and roommate) made me birthday brownies, twenty three candles and icing included. I made a wish for a happy, healthy baby and then ate a delicious brownie. They lasted for for four whole nights. I was proud.

Worst Moment of the Week: Friday was a rough day. I was exhausted and just had zero energy. Nothing was particularly bad, I just was not feeling it. 

What I am Looking Forward to: We are going to Disney on Friday, and I've not been in a while so I'm excited. A little cautious too because I'm not sure how my body will handle it. 

Bonus Birthday Picture 

On MLK Day...

There are certain things in our nation and in the world which I am proud to be maladjusted and which I hope all men of good-will will be maladjusted until the good societies realize — I say very honestly that I never intend to become adjusted to — segregation and discrimination. I never intend to become adjusted to religious bigotry. I never intend to adjust myself to economic conditions that will take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few. I never intend to adjust myself to the madness of militarism, to self-defeating effects of physical violence. But in a day when sputniks and explorers are dashing through outer space and guided ballistic missiles are carving highways of death through the stratosphere, no nation can win a war. It is no longer the choice between violence and nonviolence. It is either nonviolence or nonexistence…

- Martin Luther King, Jr. 

I am, unfortunately, working today.  However, I still felt it was important to acknowledge the day and it's significance. While we have progressed in the years since Martin Luther King, Jr.'s death, we still have a long way to go. This quote is one of my very favorites because it continually makes me think about how I am reacting to the world around me.

Third Trimester Terribles

Today was rough. It was partially my own fault. You see, I left my water bottle at home and we only have a few cups in the kitchen at work and they were all taken. So, I definitely had less than my normal  bajillion ounces of water (I'm exaggerating by saying a bajillion, but only slightly). With time, I have learned that water is the secret cure-all to almost all pregnancy things and when I don't drink enough, it sucks. So yeah, partially my fault, but still. The sucks.

If you google Third Trimester Pregnancy Symptoms you get a pretty long list of unpleasant things. (Is this like starting a high school paper with the dictionary defines word as blah blah blah?... that was my favorite trick to take up space). Anyway, the list is as follows:

• Weight Gain 
• Braxton Hicks Contractions 
• Backaches 
• Shortness of Breath
• Heartburn
• Swelling
• Spider Veins, Varicose Veins, and Hemorrhoids 
• Frequent Urination 
• Vaginal Discharge

I have approximately 77.7% of those symptoms. I'll let you guess which ones. I try not to complain too much because my pregnancy has been pretty easy and complication free. But today was rough. I found myself, a few times, looking down at my belly and saying, "get out Eleanor!" Then I would quickly remember that I am not full term and our car is in the shop until the end of the month. Never mind kid. Get comfortable and stay a while. (At least, until your due date). In the mean time, I've got a giant thing of off brand tums, comfortable bathrooms, a heating pad, and a glass of water to keep me company. 

I Wrecked Our Car

So, I have a little confession. I am 23 years old and don't have my driver's license. Get out all the shock and awe now. I know, it's weird. It's been an easy thing to just put off because for the longest time I didn't have a car or any plans to get one. But then, D and I bought a second car. So, there were no excuses.

I love my car. It's a silvery blue Mazda 6 that feels super spacious on the inside but doesn't feel like you are driving a boat. I like driving it sometimes. That said, I still get a lot of anxiety over driving. I'm not entirely sure where it comes from, but it exists. Plus, I went everywhere with D or another friend drove. It wasn't hugely inconvenient for me not to be driving on my own. Every time D brought up taking my driver's test, I put it off with some excuse. Then I got pregnant. Kids need things or there could be an emergency or who knows what. Getting my license wasn't something I could put off anymore. We are lucky enough to have two cars and I have no excuse to not take full advantage of it.

A few months ago, I got a California Permit. I had a driving test schedule in Simi Valley for the morning of my birthday. I felt mentally and physically prepared and capable. Saturday we decided to go for a practice run, since I don't often drive around the Simi Valley DMV. Getting more comfortable with the surrounding area would only make me more confident, right? 

Well, it would have been right, but after driving up the 118 and finding the DMV without even making D get a little nervous, I was making a left turn WITH A SIGNAL, and I hit a median in the center of the road. I emphasize the with a signal part to express just how stupid it was. I just started the turn when the light was green, going maybe a little too fast but not crazy, and then somehow, there was a median and I was going to hit it. I have like temporary amnesia or something on the events that occurred between the green arrow and realizing I was going to hit the median. Once I realized it, my only reaction was to swerve back over as much as I could... D points out that I didn't think to slow down. He's right. I didn't. Because I'm not a super amazing driver after all, especially when I panic. 

We hit the median and I bounced in my seat, hit my head on the ceiling of the car, and my glasses fell off my face. I managed to regain enough composure to pull as far to the side of the road as I could. Something was making a scraping noise. The car didn't really want to go. D got out and I tried to calm down. I was crying, but not because I was hurt at all. I was just scared. 

D and I switched places and he pulled the car up a little further into this bus drop off nook or something. He picked up the pieces that had fallen into the road. A nice man stopped and asked if we needed help. We told him no but thanked him profusely. The tire was busted, there was something leaking from underneath the front left side, and there was a good bit of cosmetic damage. We don't know what else might have been wrong. D tried to put on the spare tire. I tried to help but he wouldn't let me, saying instead that I needed to stand far away on the sidewalk. He did manage to put the spare on but it was flat within a matter of minutes. We called our insurance and they called a tow and recommended a shop to take it to. I cried a whole lot more while we sat in the car waiting for the tow truck to get there. At that point, it was mostly embarrassment. I felt so stupid. 

The tow truck driver was a sweetheart. He took us to a nearby shopping plaza thing were some friends of ours were having a date night. I wish we would have had some cash to give him a little tip or something. I really need to start carrying more cash and stop depending on my debit card so much. I felt bad for interrupting our friends' date night, but they were sweet about it. We even spent a little time hanging out at their house before they gave us a ride home. We owe them, for sure. By the end of the night, I felt a little better. 

I'm still apologizing to D for killing our car. He keeps telling me to stop but somehow saying, "I'm sorry I ran over the median" makes me feel a little better. I thanked him for being so sweet when it happened. His response was I hope I wasn't too angry. The response shocked me a little because he was incredibly calm the whole time. He hugged me and let me cry. He kept asking if I was okay and telling me that Ella and I were more important than the car. He didn't realize that last bit actually made it worse, thinking about the fact that I could have hurt my daughter. Thankfully, I didn't. No one was hurt, except the car, and it will be fixed soon. 

After all of that, I think it's kind of evident that I did not go take my driver's test on my birthday. I am determined to take it now though, as soon as we get our car back. I am not comfortable driving D's car for the test because it is just not what I am used to and I figure the test will make me nervous enough without adding a completely different car to it. I have driven some though, which is probably good. I'm not going to lie... I will be nervous the next time I am making a left turn by a median, but I can't let that one accident control my life. 

32 Weeks - Update (A day late)

Countdown: 56 days 

Baby size: The baby is around 4.5 pounds and about 19 in. long. Roughly as big as a honeydew according to my what to expect app. That just sounds adorable. 

Symptoms: Nothing new really... I think I may be having some gallbladder stone issues so I am trying to avoid fatty foods. 

Cravings: This week I have really wanted bananas and steak. I have this craving for a really good steak that has yet to be satisfied. 

Best Moment of the Week: Funnily, it occurred right after the worst moment of the week. Some friends were amazingly helpful and we ended up at their house watching their kids play with some presents we got them for Christmas. They have two girls ( 4 months and 2 years) and it was nice getting to think about Eleanor being there to play with them in a few months. 

Worst Moment of the Week: On Saturday, I wrecked our car by driving into a median. I would go into details here, but it was embarrassing and stressful so I'm not really up for it at the moment. That said, everyone is perfectly safe and we have relatively good car insurance so it's okay. 

What I am Looking Forward to: My birthday is Tuesday (today, since I am late posting)! D and I are taking the day off work and just spending the day doing happy things.